Life’s daily challenges, financial pressures, our jobs, child care, coping with aging parents, and the like can affect our sexual desire. This, combined with a lack of sexual inventiveness, can leave us stuck in a sexual rut that can hurt our desire. This can work in a vicious cycle: low sexual frequency leads to decreased sexual desire, and depleted sexual desire weakens sexual desire.

How to get out of this situation to be able to have good sex again? Here are the 7 tips that will help you regain your sexual libido.

(1) Thinking about sex

If you hope to increase our interest in sex, we need to take some time to flood our minds with sexual thoughts. This involves reliving those great sexual experiences you have with your spouse or thinking of new ways you can try to spice things up. You can also read some great articles or help books or watch some informative videos, which can educate you and let you know what it takes to improve your sex life. The point here is to stimulate your mind in a way that gets you in the mood.

(2) Increase your sexual attractiveness through clothing

The way you dress can play a big role in storing those feel-good hormones, which in turn can influence your sense of sexiness. The way you look can influence how you feel. A change of clothes, a new fragrance, a makeover, or a new hairstyle can help convey the feeling that you are sexy and desirable. Even if you’ve gotten used to living with your spouse, this shouldn’t stop you from injecting some elements of surprise into the relationship, including the way you see yourself.

(3) Communicate with partner

Sharing sexy words can be a great way for a sex-starved couple to reconnect and become more inclined towards romance. These words can be flowery, poetic and romantic like an old love letter or they can be spicy and graphic like a heated novel.

(4) Stay fit

Regular physical activity can increase feel-good endorphins and can also improve your body image, promote blood flow to the sexual organs, making you feel sexier and giving your libido a healthy boost. Additionally, Kegel exercises (performed to tighten the pelvic muscles) can work to enhance sexual sensations and help increase desire.

(5) Spend time together

Just you and your partner, separated from the kids and work, during which serious topics like kids and work are not discussed. You can plan a weekly date like going out to dinner or taking a walk; but not to the movies or other activities that may not be conducive to talking to each other. If you can’t afford a babysitter, go out on the porch and have a glass of wine together after the kids go to sleep. You can also find some interesting and exciting things to do together, like going on tour, signing up for dance or yoga classes.

(6) Allocate some time to do something you enjoy

You can take time for yourself every day, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes a day. This can help you reduce stress and give you more energy for your partner. The more connected with who you are, the less you lose yourself in the daily routine, which takes you away from your partner. The more sensual and connected you are with yourself, the more available you will be to your partner.

(7) just do it

If you haven’t had sex for a while, it’s likely that your sexual desire will gradually decrease. The best way to get over this is to have sex even when you’re not in the mood sometimes. If you try to wait out the mood, you’ll most likely never have sex again. Research has shown that the more sex we have, the more sex we want to have. The sexual connection promotes the secretion of the attachment hormone, oxytocin, which can increase libido.