Parents of only children ATTENTION: everyone has an opinion

“If you are not ready to have two children, it is better that you do not have one.”

Such would be my introduction to the fact that people have very, very strong feelings about the wisdom and practicalities of one-child households.

My wife and I looked at each other, then at Kaia, who at the time was just over four months old and asleep, oblivious to the apparent dangers of her less-future pending brother, and then back to the source of words so passionate about wisdom. .

He wasn’t a doctor, child psychologist, aspiring anthropologist, friend of a friend, or, for that matter, not even an acquaintance.

This was the pool fence boy … on a ten minute inspection of our backyard deck and pool area to give us a quote on what we needed to do to comply with the strict regulations of the near the Queensland pool.

Suddenly, it seemed like we were getting a lot more than we bargained for.

Unsurprisingly, we would soon learn that the poor bastard was an only child and one, who made it very clear, was still dealing with the traumatic ramifications of the event.

What those actual traumas were, neither my wife nor I dared ask, although the pool boy was quite emphatic that he was still dealing with them.

Personally, I didn’t know much about it at the time, but I still had to agree with him that he had problems; at least if he thought those damning remarks were the wisest way to go as we simultaneously tried to get our business.

Since then, however, I have come to know him better and, it should be added, with very little research on the internet. Subtle questions, innuendo, and very mild head shakes from well-meaning friends, family and, yes, strangers, over the past two years they have instilled in us what to expect … without jumping at the prospect of ‘waiting’ ever. plus.

The general consensus is that in addition to being selfish in such determined thinking, Kaia apparently, as an only child, is destined (some may even say she is doomed) to be spoiled, lonely, narcissistic, and socially inept. It’s a heavy label for everyone, but with China’s one-child policy, figures from the US Census Bureau show that single-child households have doubled in the past 50 years and half as much. British families today are made up of only one child, at least we are obliged to have a lot of company.

Lots of company with many reasons to spread the notion that sometimes less is more.

Reasons that include but are not limited to financial and / or physical health problems, desire to travel, educational advantages, time constraints, fears about pregnancy, advanced age, and infertility. And the list goes on.

Like the statistics from various studies pecking and beating on long-held stereotypes of one-child personality traits dating back to the late 1800s, when prominent child psychologist G. Stanley Hall claimed that ” being an only child is a disease in itself. “

In contrast, more recent studies strongly suggest that single children tend to be excellent students, more motivated, have higher self-esteem, and more socially gifted than those from households with limited siblings.

Of course, the point could be debated ad nauseam.

However, the point is just kids, including characters like Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant, Ted Koppel, Franklin D. Roosevelt, John Updike, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Joe Montana, Charles Lindberg, Indira Gandhi, Nancy Reagan, Robin Williams, Carol Burnett, Leonardo de Vinci, Bill Bradley, Condoleezza Rice, Steve Allen, and many others like them demonstrate that negative stereotypes packaged in clever cliches like ‘Child Syndrome’ definitely do not automatically define one’s destiny.

The fact is, sometimes being a kid is not easy, regardless of whether you are unique or not. Ask my little brother. Having siblings can be a real whore. And if he’s still too bitter to speak, I have the physical scars to testify.

Scars, now that I think about it, that probably would have saved the boy by the pool fence some time in therapy.