From the outside, someone may appear strong and like they have a good connection with themselves. Also, they can usually seem happy and full of life.

But although they may generally give the impression that they are well-adjusted adults, that does not mean that they really are. Behind the facade they present to the world there may be a very different person.

Both senses

Not only may this be something most people are not aware of, but one might not be aware of it oneself. Then one will live on the surface of oneself, but one will not know it.

However, what they might be aware of is that they often experience anger and frustration. Every time they come into contact with this pain, they might end up doing everything they can to push it out of their consciousness.

The reason

Most likely, this pain is a consequence of the fact that they are not in tune with themselves and therefore the life they are living is not in alignment with who they are. This pain will then be there to say that this is so, but they will not be able to heed this message.

They will continue to do their best to keep this bread at bay and continue to live in the same way. Keeping up the act that they are happy, even if they really aren’t, will be essential.

a dark cloud

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be for them to keep their pain at bay and maintain the image they have. It will take more and more of your energy to keep your true feelings at bay.

They may be on the go often and find it difficult to relax and this could be a way to prevent them from falling into a deep depression. Living this way is also likely to affect your health.

an inner fall

If they had a breakup, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a job, for example, they will soon find that they can no longer act. Who they thought they were could fall apart and they could all be in the sea, both mentally and emotionally.

A certain amount of the external structure would have detached and this would have caused most, if not all, of the internal structure to collapse. They may know who they are or what to do about what’s going on.

Weak Foundations

What this probably illustrates is that they haven’t developed a sense of self. In other words, while your physical body will have developed, the inner part of your being will not have developed.

During all these years, they will have had a false self that allowed them to keep everything under control and act normally. This false self would have provided them with a very weak internal structure and this part of them would have trusted others to tell them how to behave and what to do with their lives.

a precarious position

Now that this weak structure, this pseudo-self has collapsed, you will have come into contact with a lot of pain. The sense of self that would allow them to know who they are and feel whole and complete will not be there.

Then one will look like an adult, but because he lacks a strong core, he will be like an abandoned child. In the words of Conrad W. Barrs, they will only have been born once; they will not have had an emotional birth.

a closer look

Their early years should have been a time when they received the attention they needed to develop a strong sense of self. Instead, this was probably a time in their life where they were abused and/or neglected on a regular basis.

Due to the pain they experienced, they would have had no choice but to disconnect from their true self (their body) and develop a false self (living in their head). This false self would have allowed them to survive, but it would have meant that they lost touch with their true needs and feelings.

external structure

The self they developed would have been maintained by playing a certain role in the environments they frequented. This is what would have prevented them from falling on themselves, falling into the abyss.

As the years went by, one would have slowly forgotten about everything that happened and tried their best to keep it all together. However, from the beginning, the pain inside them would have wanted to break through and be recognized, which would have made them fall apart over time.

the right nutrients

So, in the same way that a tree or a plant needs to receive the right things in order to grow, so does a child. Without these things, the outer part of them will grow but the inner part of them will not.

That is why, of course, a human being needs so much and cannot go on with his life shortly after birth, like a rabbit. The problem is that if a father is undeveloped and completely out of touch with himself, he probably won’t be able to provide his son with what he needs to go through his second birth.

Awareness
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If one can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.