No, that’s not a typo. Empty Nexters are women struggling with what comes next. They may be empty nesters, nearing retirement, or wanting a job change. They may be reconsidering a relationship, or preparing for an important birthday, or newly “orphaned” (since both parents have died).

As a woman, you grew up knowing what society expects of you: get married, work if you want but have children, take care of your husband and your home, be kind to others, don’t be aggressive, don’t be selfish. By now, you’ve either met these expectations or you haven’t, but you knew what they were.

Now, there are no more expectations for women. An empty Nexter, then, is a Baby Boomer who must create her own expectations. Unfortunately, for some women, this leads to depression (without understanding why).

Listen to some women sharing their emptiness. They are part of a women’s weekend retreat.

“I’m tired of complaining about Bob,” says Marlene. When Suz left for college last August, the house was very quiet. Bob works late; nothing you say will get him home for dinner. The house feels so empty. We hardly see each other anymore. That cuts down on the arguments,” she laughs to herself, “but I’m really depressed. I do not know what is happening to me”.

Bertie has a different story. “My mom and dad died in the last two years. They were old so it wasn’t a surprise, but I wasn’t prepared for my reactions. It’s not that I miss them. It’s more about me; who am I now? My sister minor is all I have left of my family. I don’t know what it means, but it feels weird.”

Alicia looks like she’s the one who lost her parents. She laments, “My boss just offered me early retirement, with good benefits. So why am I so miserable?”

With no guidelines of who you should be, you’d think it would be cool; Now you can decide for yourself what you want. However, many women reach this stage without understanding how their lack of roles is affecting them.

They can be like Maureen, drifting through her life without her children to care for and now noticing how empty her marriage is. Or they can be like Bertie, aware that time is moving on and they are reaching a new stage in life. Or they can be like Alice, terrified of giving up a career, terrified of opportunities to start a new one.

Lacking words to express their feelings, they resort to familiar terms, such as depressed or bored. If you don’t know what’s coming next, you’re an empty Nexter. Now is the time for you to be selfish and think of yourself; to do you Do you want now that your assigned duties are complete? Sometimes having a whole world of opportunity can be scary; too many options can immobilize.

Here are some general ideas to help you think about filling your Empty Next:

1. Think childhood, young adulthood. What were some of your dreams back then that you lost along the way?
2. Read magazines and even advertisements. See what topics capture her interest. Don’t ask for anything; just stay open to see what appeals to you.
3. Silence the inner voice that says, “I couldn’t” or “I’d love to, but…”
4. Finish this sentence: “I would love to… Don’t think about it, just write it down and see what words come out.
5. Whose voice is inside your head saying, “You can’t!”
6. What would your husband and children say about your answer if you ended that sentence at #4?
7. What would your mother, father, and siblings say if you did something completely new and exciting with your life now?
8. Give yourself space to rinse old tears – to lost lovers, missed opportunities.
9. Attend a weekend retreat designed for women like you: Empty Nexters to find out what’s next in their lives.