What do confident people know that other people don’t? Why don’t they have to hide their insecurities? I’m sure they have one, we all do. We can all identify insecure people. For some it manifests as shyness, a nervous tic or cough and for others, well, they try to hide it behind some outward behavior. In any case, it is usually quite obvious. Insecurity is very uncomfortable. We feel exposed and vulnerable. We are afraid that people will discover us. If they do we will feel very embarrassed and even more insecure.

Sounds like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it? It is and can be an insidious downward spiral. Here are some things I think confident people know and live their lives. Once they accept these things as guidelines for living, they can give up the need to be right, to achieve, or anything else that makes people feel insecure.

1. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have at the time. They make the best decisions and judgments and engage in the best behavior available to them.
2. The way I perceive things is not necessarily the way someone else perceives things and, in fact, neither is the whole truth. Each is just the individual’s current world view. There is always something more to learn.
3. Every behavior has a positive intention behind it. Positive intent may not be obvious to other people, but it is driving behavior. It may be a need for some personal gain or it may be outwardly focused or both.
4. Choosing is better than not choosing. The more options a person has, the more flexible they can be and that gives an advantage to the person who has those options.
5. The meaning of communication is the response you get. If someone misunderstands or misunderstands, it is the speaker’s responsibility to find a way to make their communication understandable. Communication is not about our intention, it is about the response it elicits.
6. People already have all the resources they need. They may need help accessing those resources, but they are available when the right questions are asked or the right experiences are gained through memory or imagination.
7. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Feedback serves to enlighten and educate. The person receiving the feedback can decide what to do about it.

As you can see, holding these assumptions recognizes people as whole and complete. There is no need for insecurity. Give them a try and see how they change your view of yourself.