Maggie was in the kitchen, wiping her hands on the kitchen towel, trying to contain the irritation that threatened to turn to anger inside her. He looked out the window at the damp pile of raked leaves that was piled up in the center of the courtyard. The rake was leaning against a tree, somewhat sheltered from the downpour, but after six straight days of rain, he guessed the wood was beginning to swell and the metal to rust. However, she did not know how to get her husband to finish what he had started, after telling her no less than seven times in the past two months. This scene and many like it are repeated over and over again in American homes every day. This article provides wives with some proven methods (when used in combination) to solve the lazy husband syndrome problem!
Tip No. # 1: appreciate what you do
Before Maggie begins to complain and criticize her husband for his lack of ambition around the house, she must first show appreciation for the things that her husband actually does each week. If he goes to work or looks for work every day, she should thank him for that. If he’s putting away dishes or making dinner, she needs to affirm him for those things.
Tip # 2: Be clear – Be courteous – Be respectful
If a wife wants work done around the house, she simply needs to ask her husband in a clear, polite and respectful way, probably the same way they treat him at work. Men are more motivated to do things for people who respect them. Wives, in general, have difficulty learning to speak the language of respect for their husbands. And assuming you know what is expected of you is rarely helpful. A simple, “Are you going to finish taking care of the leaves in the backyard?” no negative or critical tone is usually enough to get the job done.
Tip No. 3: Schedule time
Many husbands depend on their wives to schedule their weekend “free time”. If your husband has a project yet to finish, let him know: “Honey, will it help if I take Johnny to soccer this Saturday so you can have that time to finish the backyard?” Communicating with an attitude of “helping” versus “criticizing” is important.
Tip # 4: Yes, “the answer” is often more sex!
Crazy as it may sound, in an anecdotal survey by therapist Michelle Weiner-Davis, men whose wives initiated and responded positively to sexual advances more often had husbands who did more chores around the house, without even being asked! asked! Definitely something to think about!
Bottom Line: To have a positive impact on our husbands, we must first change our own behaviors to become clear, respectful, and positive. When wives act like this, everyone wins!