I start this discussion by addressing the male guests first, as they seem to have, in my opinion, a more obvious reaction that fits the summary. I suggest to them pretending that the spa / massage visit is like a first date that you don’t want to go through “uncomfortably”. To prevent your weapon from discharging, try to arrive with a virtually unloaded pistol and an open, clean mind. Men already know that this is not a “guarantee”, but it helps prevent an unwanted situation. You can’t really relax with a “loaded gun”, can you? It doesn’t matter if you think your therapist is attractive or not, if you have a same-sex therapist and are completely straight or not, if you have the opposite scenario, or if there is any obvious indication of the therapist’s sexual orientation. The parasympathetic brain will respond as it does at that moment and through no fault of you or your therapist.

The parasympathetic or involuntary response you have to your therapist’s touch can be terrifying, exciting, embarrassing, or terrifying depending on you, your therapist, your vision and understanding of massage, its benefits, and the intention, skills, and qualifications of the therapist. If your therapist is a professional, you are well aware of this involuntary stimulation when you are being massaged. Most of us don’t “freak out” when our client gets hard, although that was not the intention of our massage technique. I often say (when asked, and yes I’ve been asked countless times … LOL) that I hope it happens. Why? Well, we are living sexual beings that respond to touch and external stimuli. You are being touched, hopefully with love, even if we are working on a knot, and even if sex is not on your mind or ours, which is hopefully the case in your legal and professional environment. An erection in the “involuntary brain” is the same as digestion. You cannot control stomach noises when you are hungry or when your therapist works on some “trigger areas.” So, we’re going to hear “stomach noises” even if you’ve eaten and / or have already gone to the bathroom; and equally, you will feel stimulated leading to an erection, sometimes even if “the gun was / is empty”. Therefore, DO NOT WORRY. Do not panic. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HIDE (which you cannot do unless you are prone or have taken precautions when you turned (supine) to place this muscle where your therapist is least likely to see it), AND ABOVE ALL, PLEASE DO NOT YOU REACH OR REQUEST THAT WE REACH IT.

At least in my practice, it’s not that kind of place; And in fact, that is illegal in many ways! Don’t call our attention to that, whether you’re being “funny” or not. I also note here that there may be an urge to grab the therapist. You may have to pretend it’s that stripper from the club dancing on your lap, but you can’t play, or you get kicked out and you still have to pay! Wow, what an analogy! (laughs) Yes, resist this urge, unless your therapist is your lover, etc., off the premises. Sometimes, even if that’s the case, stick it out and don’t compromise the business of the establishment and change the flow of energy in your massage session. Someone will know! In this case, “be selfish” and be grateful that things inside you are still working as they should and mentally thank the therapist for reminding you. The work has been great and honorable in “unblocking” that channel for blood flow.

What is my wish for my distinguished client at my table? Do you have a choice if something happens in the session that bothers you? What else can you do to improve your relationship with your therapist and the setting where you receive service?

My address at the beginning of each session is: “If at any time something feels uncomfortable, please let me know.” This could be any “uncomfortable” feeling. Maybe I need to stop moving my hands like that or go to work somewhere else for a while and then come back if I feel like my “mission in that area was not accomplished or delayed.” Please, speak! I don’t know what you feel when I do what I do. I only know that my hands convey love, my intuition indicated that there was a need in that area and my energy went there in response to yours, to provide therapy. Sometimes your body asks for more pressure when it can’t handle it. Sometimes you have “emotional breaks” that make my hands work fast or slow or go straight to that point that has been bothering you. This is the “movement of energy”, with which I am usually very connected and that is not always understood. This kind of “intuition” cannot be taught. Neither you nor I always know why I went straight to that place, but I am relieved by the one you’ve been asking for all week and that’s all that really matters. PLEASE NOTE THAT IF MY TREATMENT MADE YOU WAKE UP, THIS WAS NOT MY INTENTION AND I HONESTLY WOULD KILL MYSELF IF I KNEW THAT I DID IT THAT WAY.

Sometimes clients don’t want to go back to that therapist, although apart from the “shame of arousal” it was all great and they were relieved from the massage. Perhaps the massage triggered feelings that were strong and overwhelming for you … Sometimes also for the therapist, who must remain professional and deal with this “self-care” later. If you understand parasympathetic stimulation in massage, you will understand the difference between when it is touched for sexual pleasure and when it is not. If when you involuntarily groan, your therapist responded and started training you to give more, then it’s time to stop the session. The lines have crossed in a different direction, as your therapist did not need to respond during the session and feed that channel.

I have massaged people who transferred so much “energy” during the session, that in the end, I wanted to cry (from sadness, joy or for no known reason), I was confused, light and loving like a child, light and empty. (as if sucked in by an energy vampire), angry without knowing why, maternal, divine or “regal”, sometimes extremely shy (my natural nature, that you would not believe if you knew me) like a child with her eyes fixed on her shoes when we part All this happens, although I am very in tune with my own body and its needs during the session and I have breathed openly, thus allowing the “exit of all energies” into the universe. Some things will still stick to the “conduit”, just like some of my energy will also stick to you. When you walk away from your sessions, do you feel a healthy, peaceful, loving, and appreciative connection with your therapist, for the work, how it feels, and how your therapist handled it with respect? If it was almost like a spiritual dance, then you are connected to that person’s true self even with the universal nuances. More or less the same, a client or two may have come in with a headache or a cold and at the end of my day, it manifests on me. It is my responsibility to take care of myself at the end of each day and while I am away from work to be fresh, down to earth and stronger for the day after giving massages and attending to clients’ needs.

Some clients prefer to have a female therapist, and likewise, some male therapists prefer female therapists. This is a personal decision. Personally, I am very reluctant to accept massages from male therapists, based on my own experiences with some. However, in any scenario, parasympathetic stimulation must occur unless you are dead. I know, and as long as it is not expected to “act” at any point before or after the massage session, I agree to be turned on … as long as it is involuntary and not the intention of the therapist. If you don’t notice the difference and something feels strange, ask your therapist why he touched you there and listen to a therapeutic response. Don’t assume anything. Sometimes we know that what we are doing feels good. We also like to have our feet or back rubbed that way. We also know the anatomy and what channels are being stimulated and what is happening therapeutically with the body when we touch that point. So we could stay there a little bit, sometimes not long enough for some, sometimes too long. However, we go (well, at least I) from my intuition and focus on what “your energy” (your body) says it needs, and not with intentional sexual stimulation in mind.

Maybe you are not sexually stimulated! You may be in pain! TALK LOUD! Sometimes, I can say that the pressure is too much because the client is holding their breath or the body “contracts” or something else. It is again the scenario where the muscle is asking for more and you, the person, cannot handle it. I’ll ask, “How’s the pressure here?” Are you okay with this pressure ?, etc, and 8 times out of 10 the client says “yes” everything is fine I know, from what I feel, that you are “saving face”, but I also know that maybe you can Handle a little more to achieve what I am trying to achieve, which is relief and enough blood circulation to that area for me to feel the relief later on. Knots are sometimes tricky. I am a very strong woman and I work very hard for you, but I don’t want to hurt you. Pain does not equate to relaxation for most, in which case he should have gone to that other place with the whips, the chains, and the shattered cane.

If I turned you on as a result of my techniques, please address me, especially if you felt something was inappropriate. Sometimes, based on our history, we tend to respond to things differently. I don’t know what a rape survivor is. I don’t know if you have bullying problems. I don’t know if you equate being touched with a requirement of sexual performance. I only know what you have told me and that you have hired me to relieve stress, tend to an injury, provide relaxation and rejuvenation, and help you become a healthier person. I know my job and I work hard to do this for and with you. Perhaps my massages, for you, should be adapted differently. Don’t dismiss me, jump to conclusions (male or female) and stop coming because what you’re thinking may not be the truth. Please know that your stated purpose for coming to receive service is at the forefront of my mind and thoughts and application of therapy in every instance. Coming home with a little “love” feeling is natural, as my work of stimulating movement within the tissues and channels takes effect. I have a clean mind and a clean body and I have no sexual thoughts while working with you. It is strictly professional. It made me think back to the “pole stripper” analogy.

Honor me (and your other caregivers) with your payment for services, gratuities, referrals, and returns. These are the highest compliments to me, my trade, and my chosen career, and I feel privileged and grateful to be that conduit you trust for your universal rejuvenation. I’m like “mommy’s love” for a “boy” … nothing more. Trust that and enjoy your parasympathetic brain.

Clients honor both their own bodies and the therapists who care for them, when they work as a professional team with the same goal in mind. Why did you come to the service today? Never forget your purpose. If you do, you will hardly know whether or not the therapist is meeting this demand. That other thing is just a distraction from intention. Now, I’m targeting male clients first, as in my experience, they seem to be the most challenging. However, clients are not exempt, as some will need to receive the same “warnings” that men are given. We live in an age where massage therapists and clients can cross the line with ease and freedom and it is becoming increasingly difficult for true therapists to distinguish themselves. The same goes for the customer who receives the unprofessional service when he expected something more and / or vice versa. For good reason, we are now required to register with the JD and the FBI and our license is for specific therapeutic services only, nothing more. Let’s keep your massage session worthy and honorable for both parties. There will be several more posts on this topic, so stay tuned to learn more about my therapeutic logic!