This is common. A man tells you that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with you or he tells you that he needs some space and wants to break up. However, after the breakup, he still calls you, texts you, emails you, and stays in touch. It can be a simple “How are you?” He may just contact you with random things, like a forwarded joke or some information that he thinks you might value. You’re thinking, he broke up with me but he’s still contacting me, he must be reconsidering.
Men keep in touch after a breakup because it eases their guilt in the first place. They don’t really enjoy hurting a woman. They feel bad, so they think they make you feel better by calling and texting. The only one who feels better as a result of this is him. When they do get in touch after a breakup, it leaves you in the land of limbo as it gives you false hope that he still cares. If your boyfriend broke up with you, didn’t he give up these contact rights?
He probably still cares, but not enough to get back together. He may even have told you that he will always love you. I wasn’t lying, it’s very possible that I love you. He just doesn’t love you the way he would love a romantic partner. The fact that he has loved you in some way means that he will feel some pain.
This is exactly why you keep in touch. It is a way to ease your pain. All of that is great, but all it does is prolong your pain. So by allowing her to stay in touch with you, you agree to ease her pain and her transition back to the dating world. Trust me, he’ll be back in the dating world. This contact does not do the same for you since you are still in love. His contact after a breakup leaves you stuck and unable to move on.
They also keep in touch to see if you are still there. If they feel lonely or bored, by staying in contact they feel like leaving the door open. They want to keep you in the background, so to speak. They can push you away when they feel lonely or bored. If you just get a random text message asking how you are or how this or that thing is, you can bet you’re just checking your temperature to see if it’s still there. It’s an ego boost for him and torture for you.
If my boyfriend broke up with me, he would think he made his bed, now he has to lie on it. I’m not going to make your bed more comfortable. I will not ease your pain and your transition. And you?